Teacher: "Johnny, give me a sentence starting with 'I'"
Little Johnny: "I is..."
Teacher: "No, Little Johnny. Always say 'I am.'"
Little Johnny: "All right. I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
A wife invited some people to dinner.
At the table she turned to her six-year old son and asked, "Would you like to say grace?"
"I wouldn't know what to say," Little Johnny replied. "Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.
Little Johnny bowed his head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people over to dinner!"
While the pope was visiting the USA, he told the driver of his limo that he has the sudden urge to drive. The driver was a good Catholic man, and would not ever dream of questioning the pope's authority. So the pope sat at the wheel, while his driver got in the back.
They were traveling down the road doing between 70 and 80 mph when a policeman happened to see them. As he pulled them over, he called in to headquarters reporting a speeding limo with a VIP inside it.
The chief asked: "Who is in the limo, the mayor?"
The policeman told him: "No, someone more important than the mayor."
Chief: "Is it the governor?"
Policeman: "No, someone more important than the governor."
Chief: "Is it the President?"
Policeman: "No, someone even more important than the President."
Chief: "Now who is more important than the President?!"
Policeman: "I'll put it to you this way chief. I don't know who this guy is, but he has the pope as his chauffeur."